When I Awake
by Pimino
Summary: After a near fatal accident, Michelangelo's reality is intertwined with the depths of his traumatized mind. Although his family will do whatever it takes to return their beloved baby brother to his silly self, Mikey's future may remain out of their reach.
1. Chapter 1

_Chapter 1_

It's almost hypnotic. It's constant, unwavering, balanced. It gives me something to focus on when I'm not drifting in and out of consciousness. It's always there to remind me that I'm still alive and my heart is still pumping. But that's its job, of course. It's a heart monitor. Even if Donnie hadn't told me, I still would've known. I've heard this mesmerizing sound countless times in those sappy movies and dramatic soap operas.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

Yep, I'm still alive. Although, being dead wouldn't be such a bad idea either. I'm past the point of boredom. In fact, I can't even see the Line of Boredom I crossed so long ago.

"Mikey?"

The sound of my softly spoken name drifts into my ears, but I'm not exactly sure if it's actually there. My mind has been a bit foggy lately. So I lie completely still just as I have been for the past.. how long has it been?

"Mikey, it's me, Leo."

It's Leo.

"Are you awake, buddy?"

Yes, I am. I just can't move my mouth. It'll hurt too much. I'll just groan in response instead.

"Good. Can you open your eyes for me?"

I try, but the blinding light above me makes me moan a second time and I slip them back shut. A quiet shuffle beside me sounds and a few seconds afterwards, there's a soft _click. _I hear him return to my side.

"I turned off the lights so it won't hurt as much."

Okay.

I flutter my drooping eyes back open, still squinting even though the room is on the verge of complete darkness. Although I can't turn my head, I know that Leo is standing beside me. He comes to visit me often. I can't say that I don't want his company, though. As I previously expressed, it gets really boring in here. Where ever "here" is. I haven't been able to thoroughly check out my surroundings.

"Feeling any better?"

No, I'm not. Every movement I make has me squealing in pain like an injured little chipmunk. It's annoying.

"Don says that you're getting better, so that's good, right?"

Yeah, sure, Leo. I feel fantastic.

He doesn't talk for a while after that. I wish I can say something to relieve the pressure of the stuffy air, but I know that awful consequences that will come if I try to move. So I just stare up at the ceiling, trapped in my thoughts.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

Ah, yes. I'm still alive. Yay.

"We've missed you, Mikey."

I blink at this statement in confusion. What does he mean? I've been lying right here in utter boredom this entire freaking time. Actually, I don't know how long it's been now that I think about it. Maybe a few days, a few weeks?

"Master Splinter is really keeping to himself since it happened."

I don't know what happened. That's about the tenth time he's mentioned it and I feel like I'm about to burst into some turtle confetti. I wish I could talk and give voice to my thoughts.

"Donnie's been stuck in his lab all day, every day."

Not that much of a surprise if you ask me. Einstein always finds something to work on. It's a mystery how his eyes haven't fallen out yet; he is always staring at that rackety computer of his.

"Raph is.. hardly talking. He just beats up that old punching bag all the time."

I can envision him tearing that nasty old thing to shreds. Poor guy. He really needs to learn how to let out his anger in other ways. Maybe a nice cup of tea?

"I've.. I don't know what I'm doing, frankly. I just feel lost."

Oh, Leo, don't say that, dude. It's perfectly fine; it's not really as bad as you think it is. Actually, I'm having it a lot worse than you. I can't even move my mouth to tell you all these things. You should really feel the pain I go through when Donnie tries to feed me. That's torture at its finest.

"I'm sorry I let this happen to you."

For the hundredth time, I don't know what happened, but I know that it isn't your fault, bro. Don't put all this weight on your shoulders. You're a great leader.

"I'm a terrible leader."

…Welp, I don't know what to tell you. Scratch that, I have a ton to tell you, but I can't. Ugh. I hate being in this darn helpless state. I don't think I've ever gone this long without talking or eating pizza or pulling some kind of prank on Raph. I just don't feel the same anymore.

Great. It's silent again.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

Please say something, anything. I would rather listen to you lecture me all day than being plunged into that dreary silence again.

…

Nothing? Okay. I'll just listen to me live. Yeah, I totally just made that a thing. That heart monitor literally lets me listen to me live. Weird, right?

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

_Beep. Beep. Beep. Growl._

Wait – growl?

_Grrroooowwwll._

Oh, I think it's my stomach. Or maybe it's Leo's. I can't exactly feel my body, so I can't tell.

"You hungry?"

Maybe it was mine. I guess I'm hungry? Yeah, I'm probably hungry.

"I'll go get Donnie."

Okay, you do that. I'll just sit here and listen to my new favorite song.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

It's getting pretty annoying, actually. I wish I had my comics here or something. I'm so bored I would even read one of D's textbooks or that freaking eyesight poster he has hanging up in the lab. And I don't even know what half of the words printed on there mean. Augh, someone help me.

Someone else comes into the room. I hear the door gently creaking then clicking shut again. I think my hearing has gotten a lot better since I've been stuck here. If one of your senses isn't working, another one has to step up it's game, right?

"H-Hey, Mikey, it's Donnie."

Why does he sound so nervous? Chill-lax, bro.

"I brought you some applesauce."

Oh, joy. Applesauce. I've eaten that mushy stuff forever now. I wish I had some pepperoni pizza instead. It's warm touch and it's delectable taste would have me back up and on my feet in a flash. Pizza can do that for me. Pizza is my cure. Mmm, pizza..

"I'm gonna need you to open your mouth slightly on the count of three, okay?"

Aw, man. This is the worst part. Someone put me out of my misery.

"One.."

I don't want any more applesauce, though. Please don't do this to me.

"Two.."

It's pretty disgusting. It sits weird on my tongue and it gets stuck in my teeth. Even after it's shoved down my throat, the remnants of it slowly trickle from their hiding places. Applesauce does not taste good after it's been swimming in saliva for five hours.

"Three."

A gentle finger rests itself right below my bottom lip and softly pulls down. A small groan pushes its way out of my slowly opening mouth and I wince a bit in pain. But luckily, it's definitely not as much pain as it was.. three days ago? Three months ago? Psh, who knows. All I'm trying to say is that it's not as bad as it was when I woke up for the first time.

My mouth is all the way open. Donnie's hand comes in my line of sight and then something cold is pushed onto my tongue. I know from experience that it's a spoon. I am being spoon-fed by my older brother. God, I hate being treated like a baby.

"Okay, you can close now."

I obey, inwardly grimacing as I swallow down the mushy crap. This is so awful. I'm in torture right now.

We do this over and over, and I swear, it takes, like, a billion years. I don't even get the satisfaction of feeling full afterwards – I can't feel my stomach!

When we finish, though, I hear a soft sigh from Donnie after he sets down the spoon and empty container. Hallelujah, we're finished.

"..Do you want to try talking again?"

No, not really. It hurts.

"I think you should."

Of course you do. You're gonna make me. Were you even asking me in the first place?

"You just gotta be gentle, and try not to rush yourself, Mike. You really don't need to open your mouth that much to talk; it all comes from your throat. Speaking of that, your voice actually generates from your vocal cords when they rub together and vibrate after the airstream in your trachea.."

Oh good sewers, he's babbling again. That's what I hate most about not being able to talk; I can't tell him to shut up. Maybe I should try to talk just for that reason.

I open my mouth, only wincing a teeny tiny bit. He doesn't seem to notice. He's still going on about how 'incredibly amazing it is that everyone's voices are so unique' or something like that. Seriously, he needs to find a hobby. Pushing that thought to the backseat of my mind and swallowing down a few gulps of lingering spit, I try to speak.

"Shhh…" is the only thing that escapes my mouth at first. He abruptly stops lecturing and I can feel his chocolate gaze on me. I like to think of his eyes as a chocolate brown. It makes me less annoyed when he goes into that crazy-scientist mode. I try to speak again.

"Shhhh…uuutttt.."

I breathe in some much needed air. Come on, I can do this.

"..uuupppp."

I did it!

…

Silence.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

I try to roll my eyes over to look at him, but to no avail. He's still just a shadowy figure in my peripheral vision. I can't see if his face is disgusted or pleased with me.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

He hasn't said anything yet.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

Is he mad at me?

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

Then Donnie suddenly laughs, something I haven't heard in a while. It makes me smile a bit. I've missed his laugh.

"Sure thing, Mike. Sorry."

My grin breaks out wider, but I don't give the pain a second thought.

There's nothing to be sorry for, D.

I'm just glad you're here.

* * *

><p><strong>AN**

**I really do hope I got Michelangelo's perspective down right. If not, please let me know(:**

**I'm not exactly sure if this story is going to be as long as my others. It depends on the reactions I receive from all of you! Also..**

**WARNING #1: Not quite sure if this story will have a good ending.**

**WARNING #2: It'll be a mind-twister. It'll really make you think, trust me.**

**Reviews are always welcome, so please do not hesitate to leave one(:**


	2. Chapter 2

_Chapter 2_

I bet he thinks I can't hear him. I mean, I can't blame the guy; I am blatantly trying my hardest to appear as if I'm sleeping. I can't believe I've resorted to this. But is it too much to ask for a day without being forced to talk?

He shuffles in what I assume is the chair he sits in. He must be getting uncomfortable at this point. I think he's been sitting here for an hour at the least. I guess it makes up for the time he has spent away from me. Leo, Sensei, and D come to visit me way more often than he does for sure.

By no means do I expect my family to be continuously glued to my side, though. If I were him, I would do the same thing as he _has_ been doing: taking a few steps back, giving me my breathing space, moving on with life as I know it. But I'm not him, and I'm not doing that or going on those exhilarating nightly patrols or stealing that last piece of pizza with mischievous fingers that managed to outrun my siblings'. I'm just.. here.

Just as I have been for the past two months.

Donnie told me. I see no point in lying now; I was so.. "surprised" when I was told how long I've been out. When I tried to ask him what had doomed me to this uncomfortably lopsided mattress, my throat gave out and I fell short. I was never able to finish my sentence, and he was never able to answer my urgent questions. I'm used to my questions being ignored by my brothers (especially Raph) but this time is no exception. I need to know. I can't remember anything.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

Something soft and warm touches my forehead and I feel the individual fingers gently rest against my skin. At least I've gotten some of my feeling back in my toes and parts of my face and even my fingers a little bit. That little ray of hope has kept me off the brink of insanity. Although, if I did go over the edge, I'm not sure what I would do. I still can't feel a majority of my body, meaning that I wouldn't exactly be able to throw a tantrum or anything like that. I guess I could blink harsher than usual..?

The hand leaves me just as quickly as it came. He was probably just checking my temperature again. There's not much else he can do with me. Man, I'm a serious buzzkill. Even Leo during one of his meditation lessons isn't _this_ boring.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

My heart doesn't actually sound like that, right? No, that's a stupid question. Hearts go _bum, bum, bum. _I remember hearing that in one of my brother's chests. I can't exactly remember when, but I do recall feeling him holding me. I was probably having a nightmare one night and I went to Leo. He used to let me sleep with him a lot when we were younger, but he eventually explained that I was "too old for that, Michelangelo." So I stopped, and the nightmares weren't really that bad after that. Sorta. Kinda.

Speaking of that, Leo hasn't come to see me in a few days. I wonder what got into him. Did the dude finally get tired of seeing me like this? I'm sorry, bro.

My brother sighs next to me and I hear a shallow gulp of spit travel down his throat. What is he doing? Why is he just sitting there like that? Welp, I might as well just add those two questions on my These Will Never Get Answered Because I Can't Talk Yet list. It's actually becoming pretty full.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

Not being able to talk _sucks. _I don't think I've ever experienced anything worse. I'm so desperate, I would rather have Raph give me one of those brutal shell-wedgies for three days straight if I could at least say a complete sentence!

Suddenly feeling annoyed by my own thoughts and needing someone else to distract me from them, I slightly grimace and pull open my eyes. The dark view of my closed eyelids isn't any better than this "new" sight, though. I'm still in the same position, staring at the same ceiling above me. Great. At least I can watch that bug up there. It's the most entertainment I'll get these days.

"Mike?"

Bro, your voice sounds awful. You sound like you haven't talked for as long as me. I bet Leo and Splinter have tried to change that, am I right?

"Sorry, didn't mean to wake ya."

Haha, I've been awake all this time! And you say I can't act! Look at me now! Actually, on second thought, don't. I probably look like I just got thrown out a window. And I don't know if that's slobber or leftover applesauce that I feel on my chin..

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

..So, that's it? You don't have anything else to say? Oh look, two more questions added to my list.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

Wait – whoa, whoa. Was that a.. _sniffle? _Are you.. Are you crying? Wait, hold on! Does anyone have a camera?

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

Oh, come on, I was just kidding, Raph. I'm not as cruel as you. That's right; take nice, deep breaths. I guess Sensei's advice is actually getting to you! A lot has changed in two months, apparently. I wonder if D finally figured out that falling asleep on his keyboard in the lab makes him look uglier than ever in the morning..

That bug is booking it across the ceiling. You go, Bug! You got places to be, parasites to meet, crumbs to eat. I would much rather be you right now. I mean, being suspended to a paralyzed body is almost the same as Splinter telling me to go to my room as punishment for the rest of my life. Not exactly my cup of tea.

Oh, Mr. Bug, you're crawling out of my eyesight. What kind of bug are you, actually? A beetle? Maybe a ladybug. You were kinda red-ish. Wait, come back! I need to know! Aw man, I can only see your butt. I think you're above Raph now. Aaaaaaaand.. sigh. You're gone.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

This sound–

_"BWAH!"_

WHOA. D-Don't scream like that! I think my eyes just popped out of my head! What's wrong, what happened, tell me, tell me!

_"LEO!"_

Leo? Why are you getting Leo?! Work, you stupid mouth, work!

"Raphael!"

Leo's here. As if I couldn't tell by the way he slammed the door open. Gosh, those hinges might've broken off!

"What's wrong, what happened? Is Mikey okay?!"

I would like to know as well, Leo! Am I okay?!

"C-C.."

Spit it out, dude! I'm dying of anticipation here! Wait – what if I really am dying?! Am I dying?! I can't tell!

"Calm down! What are you trying to say, Raph!"

"Cockro.."

Silence.

Silence.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

If I had control over my body right at this moment, I swear I would be banging my head against the wall repeatedly. Raph, you are such a scaredy cat. Mr. Bug, why would you give us all heart attacks like that? I thought we were friends..

"Leo!"

Oh good job, Raph, you attracted D here too. Now he's gonna be fussing all over me again. Dang it.

"Are you guys okay, is Mikey okay?!"

Yeah, yeah. I'm fine, Don. Just imagine I'm smiling right now, okay?

"..He.. Raph just saw a bug, that's all."

The amount of disappointment in my leader's voice makes me smile a bit.

"It wasn't just any freakin' bug, you idiot! It was a _cockroach_!"

"This little fellow? He's completely harmless!"

I agree, Donnie. I was friends with him for a full three minutes and twenty seconds. The guy is really into speed racing, you know that?

"Donnie.. Wha-What the hell are you doin'?!"

"Look at him, Raph. Cockroaches are incredible! Just look at that outer shell of –"

"I don't give two fucks! Get that thing away from me!"

"But he's so small and –"

_"WAH!"_

If I could, I would've jumped at Raph's sudden yell of terror. Maybe I did, I don't know. But man, he is so girly when it comes to those little bugs! My smile pulls wider at the thought of Big Tough Raphie-Waphie screaming his head off as D holds the cockroach. If I were Don, I would..

_"Don't ya dare come near me, Donnie!"_

Hey, that's exactly what I would do!

"Raph, calm down, it's going to be fine."

It's pointless trying to soothe the big baby, Leo.

"Just get that piece of shit away from – _OH HOLY MOTHER OF..!"_

The abrupt colorful phrases that erupt from Raph's filthy mouth make me inwardly cringe. And I can't stop my coarse laughter as I hear Leo and Don on the verge of joyous tears.

**_"_**_Why the HELL would you fuckin' throw it on me?!_"

"I guess you're finally catching onto me, Raph!"

As Don replies this through broken breaths, I laugh as hard as my body will allow. It's the first happiness I've felt in a while. Judging by their rough voices, I'm guessing it's something new for my siblings as well. But Raphie-Waphie only gives a sudden growl and he doesn't complain any further. I bet he killed it. Poor Mr. Bug.

"But look on the bright side.."

Someone is shuffling closer to me, and I let my laughter die down into a wide grin. But that wide grin settles into a waning smile as the pain kicks in. Oh wow, yeah, that hurts like shell. Ow.

"..You helped him smile, Raphie."

What I'm assuming is a hand is placed on my cheek, and Leo leans over my bed to come into my line of sight. I smile at him, biting back the pain, and he draws back.

"How many times have I told all ya shell-fer-brains to not call me that.."

But the anger in Raph's voice is subtle. He's such a push-over. Especially when we use that little childhood name I gave him. He denies it, but he loves being called Raphie, I know he does! He usually does whatever I say with less reluctance than usual. And just to prove it…

"R-Ra.." I begin. I swallow to wet my sandy throat. "Raphie.."

"Hm?" is the gruff response.

"H..elp me.. s-sit.."

I bite my cheek as the broken words leave me. They've been sitting on the edge of my tongue for who knows how long, and now is the perfect opportunity to let them be free. And besides; I can do it. I can sit up. I don't wanna just lie here anymore. It's. So. Booooring.

"Mikey.. I don't think.."

Oh, come on, Leo! Please, please, pul-leaze?!

"Your body is still weak from the injuries you obtained, Mike. I don't want you passing out from some dizziness you might experience."

Don't get all Doctor-y on me, D! You know I've been sitting here for an eternity! I can't just stay here forever!

"I think it's gonna be fine, Brainiac. Loosen up a bit for once."

That's my Raphie. I think it's him who's next to me now, but I can't be entirely sure.

"Ready?"

I've been ready.

"One.."

Ah, yes. The good ol' countdown thing again. He moves into my line of sight, leaning over me. I think he's gonna pick me up.

"Two.."

The sudden realization that this might be painful stabs into me, and I swallow hoarsely. Please don't be pain, please don't be pain, please don't be pain..

"Three."

Whoooooa. It's like my world just got flipped right-side up. I'm not staring at the ceiling anymore, hallelujah! My eyes briefly flick over the familiar posters on the wall in front of me. Wait, am I in my room? I think I am. Man, I didn't know that my bed could be so uncomfortable after two months! (And that my ceiling is so plain and boring.)

"There ya go."

I feel him pulling back, and I risk the imminent pain to fully look at all my brothers for the first time in a long time. I turn my head, but I swear, I only winced slightly. It didn't hurt that bad.. Sorta.

Dang, you guys grew, didn't you? I feel like your ten feet taller than me! Well, I guess I haven't been able to look at you for awhile, so that probably explains why.

"You feeling any better, Mike?"

Yeah, I guess as good as I can get right now, Leo. I slightly nod my head in response and your sapphire eyes gleam in the dim lighting of the room. I haven't seen that look of happiness for a long time, and it makes me smile.

"See? He's perfectly fine, Donnie-Boy."

Ooh, is that a new scar on your arm, Raph? Wonder where you got that from. It's actually kinda.. big. Must've been a nasty fight.

"Maybe for now, but you're going to be lying back down to rest sooner or later, Mikey."

And then there's Donnie. You kinda look the same as before: clipboard in hand, dull eyes from lack of sleep, your bo slung behind you. But compared to Leo who looks a bit "older" and Raph who looks a bit "angrier" (if that's even physically possible), you don't seem to have changed a bit. Weird.

"..T-Than..ks.." I manage to murmur, leaning my head against the wall behind me. Then something else that has been nagging me for these past two months bounces into my head. "..Tim..e?"

"10:15"

Probably nighttime 10:15 and not morning time judging by the sluggish movements of my brothers. I think I've gotten better at not only my hearing, but reading the limited amount of body language I've seen as well. Not being able to talk opens up a whole new world, you know? Anyways, they better find some energy because..

"P..Patrol..?"

We usually leave for the night patrol around 10:30. Man, I would kill to go on one of those again. Don't know what you have until you lose it.

"Not tonight. We can stay with you if you want."

Yes, Leo! Please please please please please please please please stay with me! I wanna have someone to talk to! You have no clue how long I've been waiting for someone to talk about something other than "your temperature is normal" or "your pulse has a steady rate". It's been terrible.

But in the end, "Y-Yes," is the only thing that escapes my sore mouth.

And so, I watch as all three of my brothers begin to shuffle around as soon as word leaves my mouth, pulling up chairs or sitting on the ground. Dang, I don't think they have ever reacted so quickly to something I say. Usually, they never listen to me in the first place. I feel so powerful right now.

As soon as they settle down, Raph wastes no time starting up a conversation from the chair he sits in across the room.

"Guess who beat the so-called Pinball Master's high score?"

Aw man, I worked hard on achieving that title! But I only playfully roll my eyes and flash a grin in my red clad brother's direction. Normally, I would spring straight out of this bed and be at the foot of the pinball machine in two seconds flat, ready to regain my honor.

But seeing the hopeful smiles plastered onto my brothers' faces is worth far more than gazing at a few numbers on an electronic screen.

* * *

><p><strong>AN**

**This update was posted so much later than I wanted. I am so sorry. At least I made this chapter a decent size though, right?**

**Anywho, thank you for your support so far! I can't believe I received so many reviews for the first chapter. Although it may not be much for some people, it definitely exceeded my expectations(: **

**Until next time!**


	3. Chapter 3

_Chapter 3_

Why are they…

…they are just…

….smiling at me?

Dudes, you okay there? Especially you, Raph? I don't think you've ever genuinely smiled like this at me before. But I don't know, it's kinda nice. It's definitely a lot brighter than that scowl you wear like a fresh coat of sunscreen every day.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

This actually looks… familiar. It's like this has happened before. Oh man, I think I'm losing my mind. Just stop thinking about it, and they'll eventually stop and everything will go back to normal.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

Okay…? So, the message I am receiving is that you guys are just going to keep staring at me like this? I mean, it's an improvement from when you dudes would just yell at me for being stupid, but still. This is kinda getting on the creepy side, don't you think? It's almost like I stepped into a painting or something.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

"D..Donnie?"

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

Well, I guess you guys won't respond to me either. Can't say I'm surprised, though. But good shell, all of your eyes are so wide. I can see the whites of your eyes surrounding the blue, green, and brown. Weird.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

I get it; you're happy! Yay, congrats, good job, whatever you want to hear! Can you stop now?

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

"Hey Mike, you awake?"

Wait – whoa. Raph… how did you do that without opening your mouth? And, if it wasn't already obvious by the way I'm staring wide-eyed at you guys, yes, I am awake. I'm surprised you didn't previously see that considering you won't tear your gaze away from me.

"Yo, wake up. Don's here."

Um. Yeah. I know Donnie's here. He's right there beside you. And how in the sewers are you still talking without moving a single muscle? Where is the logic, exactly?

"Mikey!"

My eyes snap open. Wait; they snapped open? Weren't they already open just a second ago? I swear that they were. I'm positive I wasn't sleeping. The unwavering rhythm of the heart monitor hasn't changed at all, meaning that I was listening to it the entire time. And the only way I would be able to listen to it was if I was awake. Right?

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

Something gently nudges me. I turn my head and briefly glance over Raph curiously. He isn't smiling anymore. That ugly scowl is back. It actually gives me a flicker of relief. It was downright eerie with all my siblings staring down at me like that. At least, I _think_ they were staring down at me a few seconds ago…

"God, thought you'd never wake up. What could you be so tired from in the first place?"

For your information, it's actually very exhausting to be constantly running around in your own mind. I've tripped and stumbled and ran over all of the thoughts that I can only keep to myself at the moment. I can't wait to be able to fully talk again. But man, if I think _thinking's_ tiring, I can't wait until I can start training again. That'll be a sight for sore eyes.

Speaking of eyes, D has his chocolate brown ones glued onto me. At least they aren't as obsessive-looking as they were before. Or did that whole thing even happen to begin with? I don't know. Leo isn't here anymore, so I guess not. I guess I was daydreaming or something; I have a tendency to do that. Sensei usually "firmly talks" to me about drifting off during training and meditation sessions.

But can you blame me? I mean, training is good for me and all, but it can get pretty tedious and meditating is more of Leo's thing. So, in order to escape from the totally mind-numbing activities, I daydream. Usually, my fantasies are based upon what-if's, like, "What if the sewers overflowed and we had to swim through all that crap?".

But this time it was different. It wasn't a what-if, and it wasn't even something too far out of the ordinary either. It was completely normal despite the, to put it in the least, discomfort I received from it. But the worst part is that this time, it felt so… real…

"Einstein says he wants you walking again today."

At this, my breath hitches and I slowly yet anxiously sit up as to not earn myself a head rush. Raph gives me a gently familiar smirk, and the smile I didn't even realize I was wearing on my face grows wider. Finally – some action time!

Then I notice Donnie in the corner. He glances up at the heart monitor and scribbles something down on the clipboard he holds in his hands. Always the ever-working turtle, isn't he? But just as that thought crosses my mind, he tosses the clipboard into a beanbag in the corner of my room and turns to me with a smile.

"Your statistics have been looking fairly normal recently, Mike, so I think it's okay if you got up and at em' again. Hopefully your body is prepared; it hasn't been physically active for a long time."

Oh yeah, I'm prepared. I'm so prepared. I'm beyond prepared. I can do this. No more sitting in my bed and being like "woe is me." Imagine – if I start walking again, I can have my normal life back (and not to mention that Pinball Master title as well). Shell, I'm so excited, I can't wait to be sitting at the dinner table and swallowing down my throw up mixed with whatever type of disgusting tea Splinter put in my cup! That's pure desperation at its finest.

"Just gotta swing your legs over and hop on the ground and bang – you're back on your own feet."

Sounds easy enough. But then again, that suggestion came from Raph…

The door hesitantly creaks open, tearing through my thoughts. I playfully roll my eyes as I see the head of my brother slowly peek in. He's always so uptight about everyone having their own privacy in their rooms. I'm actually surprised he didn't do some elaborate knock before entering.

However, as soon as the shadowy sapphire irises notice that everyone is awake and present in my bedroom, the figure fully steps inside and gives me a slight smile. It almost seems to reflect off the blue bandana he has. Man, I don't think my brothers have ever been so glad to see me before. A lot has changed.

"H-Hey, Leo," I manage to rasp out. At this, he nods in head in acknowledgment and loosely crosses his arms over his chest.

"Just wanted to make sure Raph doesn't push you too hard," Leo replies. It earns him a sharp glare from my hotheaded brother, but Leo doesn't seem to care/notice. We've all gotten used to that look, trust me.

Licking my lips, I follow Raph's directions despite Leo's concern. Slowly, I pull my legs over the side of the bed and a burst of relief crashes into me as my heavy feet dangle in the air. I have never felt so free before. Hoping to obtain more of that light and feathery feeling, I cautiously push myself off the bed and glance downwards as I land on my wobbly feet. The ground is so cold, yet so welcoming. One thought races in my mind:

Freedom. Sweet, sweet freedom.

I look back up to meet the gaze of the rest of my three brothers with a wide beam. But I swear, my smile instantly falters.

They are all smiling.

They are all genuinely smiling straight at me.

I can see the whites of their eyes surrounding the blue, green, and brown.

Then they… stop. Leo blinks and waves his hand towards his own body, indicating me to move forward. Whipping the sudden confusion to the far back of my brain, I obey and take a tiny step towards him in order to not rip away the small padding attached to my plastron which is connected to the heart monitor. I'm surprised I don't fall; I'm already unbalanced on the inside due to the sudden déjà vu.

But that's what it is. Déjà vu.

I get it all the time. So does everyone else. It's perfectly normal.

Right?

* * *

><p><strong>AN**

**Okay, so things are hopefully going to start picking up after this chapter. Better late than never, right? Sorry, but I couldn't exactly just have Mikey bounce right back up on his feet so quickly after the accident. Gotta slowly progress(:**

**Until next time ~**


	4. Chapter 4

_Chapter 4_

I wake suddenly.

I don't know why and I don't know how, but I'm startled awake as if I was hit by a truck or something. Or maybe I fell off a skyscraper or a bridge. I probably did. Everyone gets those dreams every once in a while. They're super weird.

But that's not the thing that puzzles me when my eyes flutter open. The fact that my room is completely lit up makes me quirk an eye ridge. Usually at nighttime, Leo comes and turns off the lights so I can sleep better. Oh well. Maybe he forgot. He's always busy with… whatever he does. That's our leader in a nutshell.

Speaking of shells, I finally got off mine yesterday, didn't I? I think I did, but maybe it was just earlier today since I seemed to have accidently dozed off for a quick nap (oops). Man, I can't wait to get up again! But what surprises me the most is that Don actually supported me. He's always so stuck up about getting fully healed before straining ourselves after we're injured.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

Well, my heart sounds fully healed, so I guess that counts as something, right?

Someone comes into the room. I can hear them shuffling around as well as their heavy breathing. That raspy voice can only belong to one person.

"Hey… Raph," I greet, the happiness in my voice not muffled in the slightest. Freedom can do that for you. And I hope I can gain it again if I can just manage to persuade my stubborn brother.

"'Sup?"

'Sup? Oh, you know, the usual; sitting all lonely in my room, staring up at the ceiling with nothing else to do, barely able to ever leave my bed. The norm.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

Good sewers, what is that smell, Raph? Are you sweaty? Must've just got out of training, huh? You know, there's this great new thing called a shower. I think you should really check it out. I hear it works wonders.

But no, I can't say that. If I want my plan to work, I need to be nice. Sigh. Here goes.

"How's training?"

Wow! My voice didn't break or anything! Hallelujah, it's a miracle. I'm getting better by the second, aren't I?

"Eh, fine. Kicked Leo's shell during sparring. It's like the guy wanted to be used as a mop for the mats today."

I slightly roll my eyes at my brother's cockiness. He can be such a boaster, especially when it comes to my oldest brother. If you ask me, I think he might be jealous ever since Leo was picked as leader. Who knows; I might be wrong. But no, Mikey, be nice if you want to get out of bed again. Just this one time, then you never have to do it again. Deal? Deal.

"Nice." I turn my head and give him a warm smile, which he partially returns. He's not much of a smiling dude. Usually, D and Leo always give in when I pout or show off my adorab – I mean, handsomeness. It's something I've learned to take advantage of every week or so. Recognizing that it won't work on Mr. Moody here, I decide to cut to the chase. "Wanna help me… out, Raph?"

I flash him a wider smile, hoping it'll coax whatever softness he has on the inside to shine on the outside. He swipes a bead of sweat from his forehead before meeting his gaze with mine.

"Help with what?"

Slowly, I shift myself into a sitting position. His electric green eyes watch me with full curiosity the entire time. Even when I'm fully upright and looking expectantly at him, he only blinks once or twice. Why is he so clueless right now? Geez, dude, pick up a hint or two.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

Ugh, fine. I guess I'll just tell you since your eyes are still narrowed in suspicion.

"You know… help me stand? Like we did… earlier?"

Oh good _shell_, did someone put a weight or something in your mouth because I think your jaw just dropped through the floor! Dude, what's up with you? Chill-lax!

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

"What the hell, Mikey?"

What? Am I missing something here? Don't just blankly look at me! Would you please just say something?

"Where in the hell did you get the idea of you _standing_?"

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

…

…

…

Okay, on second thought, stop talking. What is going…

"Donnie."

My eyes, which were glazed over in confusion for a few mind-numbing seconds, flickered back to attention as I noticed my immediate older brother enter the room. Raph stands beside him, his irises glancing between me and D.

"Did you…" he trails off, looking quizzically at me again. "Did you let him stand up? Why didn't you tell us?"

Then it's Donnie's turn to widen his eyes in disbelief.

"W-What? Mikey, you stood… on your feet?!"

Uh, duh. How else am I supposed to stand? But instead of voicing that thought, I slowly nod my head. Why the shell is everyone being so weird right now? I legitimately stood up with all of them right there in front of me only a few hours or so ago! I know for a fact that I'm not insane right now!

"What did you… When… How…"

D, take a chill pill! I only stood up – it's not the end of the world!

He steps closer to me, his jaw slack. If you ever needed a Frisbee, his eyes would be the perfect substitute.

"You don't have feeling back in your legs yet. How did you –"

"What?" I suddenly croak as my face contorts into utter confusion. "Y-You were there… you helped me!"

I see Raph shake his head in disbelief as Donnie merely blinks at me.

"This is insane. I'm gonna go get Fearless and Splinter and ask them."

But – Raph! Leo was there too and… and…

I'm not crazy. I know I'm not. You dudes were all there and you helped me stand up and you were so happy and you were smiling and –

Donnie pokes my leg with a hesitant finger, and with pure horror, I realize I don't feel it.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

No.

No.

It happened.

I stood up.

I know I did.

Everyone was there.

I had feeling to my legs.

I walked.

I swear I did.

I refuse to believe anything else.

Because nothing else happened.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

* * *

><p><strong>AN**

**No comment.**


	5. Chapter 5

_Chapter 5_

Am I insane?

No; no I'm not.

I inwardly sigh, leaning back against the wall behind me and staring ahead with empty eyes.

I mean, I have my moments, but I sure as shell would remember if I stood up after being confined to this lumpy bed for two whole months. Standing would feel like a godsend right now. But how would I know what it feels like? I'm partly paralyzed. Supposedly.

"Do you remember anything else after that, Michelangelo?"

No Sensei, I don't. I swear I stood and everyone did that… that weird creepy smiling thing. But they were so _proud_, Sensei. I saw it in their eyes. It's something I cherish since I don't see it often. I wouldn't ever forget that.

Instead of speaking all of that, I simply shake my head. My throat hasn't earned its full trust yet, and my substituted gesture makes Splinter sigh heavily. It's mixed with too many emotions to count. I think I caught a bit of worry and tenseness in it, though. Great, am I annoying you too, Sensei? I really don't mean to. I never mean to put such a heavy weight on everyone's shoulders.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

"Sensei?"

Good gods, Leo! I didn't even see you in the doorway! You really need to knock or something, sheesh.

"Yes, Leonardo?"

"…Can I speak to Mikey for a minute?"

This can't be good.

"Of course. I will leave you be."

Please don't.

"Thank you."

My silent protests go unheard as Sensei leaves with the soft click of the door and Leo comes to sit on the edge of the bed. He's looking down at the floor, preventing me from seeing any trace of emotion that might be running through his eyes. He always pulls on that second mask of his that blocks out everything and anything he wants to hide. Raph and D call it the Fearless Face. But even if I can't exactly see it written on his facial features, I think I might know one thing for sure. My body goes rigid as I await the lecture that's guaranteed to come.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

Man, I _really_ don't want to do this right now, Leo. Not after what happened earlier. Gosh, it's actually embarrassing now that I think about it. I started freaking out and I couldn't stop my mouth from rambling on and on about what was going on. I seriously felt like D when he goes into Crazy-Scientist mode. Except this time, I had true urgency behind my words. But you guys didn't notice; you all just stared at me wide-eyed and had just as many questions as I did. And we all had no answers.

"Are you okay, Mike?"

Mentally or physically?

"You seemed a bit… off earlier."

Earlier? I still am. My brain feels like a pile of goo. I mean, can you blame me? How could all of you forget that I stood up? It's a big stepping stone for me, and everyone just magically seemed to overlook it?

But instead of voicing those accusatory questions, I keep my mouth shut. I don't exactly want to add fuel to the fire at the moment. My flames of confusion are already out of control, and I can feel it burning away at my sanity.

"I'm just worried is all."

I sigh as I shift on the bed. I guess I will have to talk at some point. "I know."

"I'm also a little curious," Leo continues. I narrow my eyes in confusion, and he quickly picks up on it. "Why did you think you… you know… stood up? Did you try to get up without someone's help?"

I quickly shake my head in denial. I would never disobey Donnie when it comes to all the medical stuff. He knows what he's talking about. If he thought it was better that I stayed on the bed, then I would listen to him.

But the problem is that he _didn't_ think that. He was the one who was present when I got back on my feet, and he didn't seem to have a problem with it. But maybe that's just wishful thinking.

"Then the only other possibility was that you were dreaming, Mike. Dreams can appear strangely real. I know you've been antsy to get moving about, so I wouldn't be surprised if your mind decided it wanted to gain some comfort."

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

A dream? But I was awake. I mean, I know I can _day_dream, but everything that happened was too real and lasted too long. Usually when I drift off, it only lasts for a few seconds at the most. This was not a dream.

But what other explanation could I possibly have?

I involuntarily groan with irritation as I lean my head further back against the wall behind me. For a fleeting second, I wish I could just sink into the concrete and never return. But I know that'll never happen no matter how many shooting stars I pray on. That is if I'm ever able to return to the surface to actually see a shooting star again.

Without thinking, a gentle sigh escapes my mouth and Leo flashes me a look I know all too well. Worry.

I avoid his eyes at all costs, not willing to give into his heavy gaze. But I still feel exposed as he scans me over. I just can't bring myself to make eye contact. Mostly because I feel utterly, completely, definitely, totally, and helplessly –

stupid.

So, so stupid.

I want to believe that it happened. But some part inside of me knows it didn't.

I didn't stand. I didn't receive the warm smiles of my brothers. I just didn't.

And it makes no damn sense.

"Mikey, if there's something wrong…"

The pity in his voice finally pops something inside of me.

"I'm fine," I snap. I instantly recoil from my own words, but I hide it in a small shift I make on the bed. I hardly ever burst out at my brothers; that's more of Raph's thing. What's wrong with me?

A flash of pain and uneasiness flitters through Leo's irises, but they're gone as soon as they arrived. Instead they are replaced by a ghost of a smile. I want to smack it off. It's fake. I know it is.

"Here," he says after a few tense moments. He scoots down to the end of the bed. "Let's try something real quick. Can you make any movement down here?"

I follow his gaze to my feet. "Uhm… I doubt it, Leo."

I wouldn't have doubted it three hours ago.

"Just try." He gives me _that_ look. The one that seems to melt my very soul. I hate how he does that. It makes me feel guilty for disobeying him and happy that he's actually finding the time to focus his attention on me all at once. I _loaf_ it. Or wait… is it loaf or loathe? I don't know; I heard Donnie say it once while he was being dragged out of the lab by the mask tails to fix the TV remote Raph had obliterated. If you ask me, it must've been an intense football game.

Who cares. All I'm trying to say is that when Leo pulls on _that_ look, it works every time. Such as now.

I smirk as I strain my leg. This is absolutely awful. It feels all tight and unwilling to do anything. But with a deep breath and a huge amount of limited focus, I manage to make the little toes who went to the grocery store to wriggle a tiny bit. Well, it's better than nothing…

"See? You're going to be fine, Mike. I promise."

But aren't promises supposed to be broken?

"You just have to work hard and you'll be able to run through that 'favorite' kata of yours again in no time."

I guess the teasing tone in his voice makes up for the fact that he probably _will _make me do that dreary kata. Great, I can't wait. Actually, what am I worrying about? By the rate I'm 'recovering', I most likely won't have to do it for a while.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

"It didn't stop, Leo," I dare to murmur into the silence.

His face contorts in confusion as I feel rather than see him studying me. "What didn't?"

"The heart monitor," I briefly explain, my words becoming more hesitant by the moment. "It never stopped-d. It kept… going when I walked. It never changed it's b-beat or anything."

Something inside my chest sinks as Leo's face doesn't change its puzzled expression. I can practically see the gears in his mind whirling around as he tries to comprehend what I just said. But I can tell that his mental machinery isn't working after three too many tense moments tick by.

I knew he wouldn't understand. It was a shot in the dark, but I thought that maybe…

"Nevermind," I decide to respond to the silence. He looks me over for a moment longer before slightly nodding, but I can still see the misunderstanding in his eyes. I guess I just made further problems for him. Just the usual, right?

Using my arms, I pull myself down into a lying position and study the all-too-familiar ceiling above me. I don't want to face him anymore. I don't want to talk anymore. My motivation is nowhere to be found at this point.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

The bed shifts as Leo's weight is taken off of it. My suddenly drowsy eyes subconsciously slide shut as he puts a hand that I assume is supposed to be comforting on my shoulder.

"You're going work to get better, right, Mikey?"

I… Yes, of course, Leo. I don't want to stay in this crummy room any longer, even if it _is _my own bedroom. I guess I will try. For a second time…

But it's not until the door softly closes behind him that I realize I didn't say anything out loud. It's okay; I'll just tell him later. If, you know, he is able to find the time/willingness to come sit on the edge of my bed and bathe in depression with me.

Sheesh, there is seriously something wrong with me. Being all emo-like is Raph's main characteristic, not mine.

But what am I supposed to do at this point? Be all peachy-happy that just when I thought everything was pulling itself back together, it was all just a… dream? My imagination? And now, I have to start all over again and it's going to be even harder than the first time?

It's just… insane…

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

It never stopped. It has been my personal clock this entire time I've been injured. I listen to it's beeping and I know that I'm still alive, conscious, and doing well. Even in sleep I know it's there. It has never failed me, not once. It's always the same predictable beat and rhythm as it always was, as it always is while I'm awake.

'Awake' as in: I was _awake _when I walked. The steady beat of the heart monitor is evidence.

I wiggle my reluctant toes.

_So why am I still on this bed?_

* * *

><p><strong>AN**

**Just so you know, this chapter will have some meaning in the future. It isn't completely worthless(; But I will make sure to have the next chapter up soon. **

**Anyways, thank you all for your continued support! Although your simple reviews might seem worthless to you, it is the world to me c:**

**Until next time~**


	6. Chapter 6

_Chapter 6_

"Hey Mike, guess what?"

The sudden voice startles me from my peaceful sleeping. Wiping the morning grogginess from the corners of my eyes, I turn to look at my intruder expectantly through the dimness of the bedroom.

"Oh," Raph remarks with a frown. "Didn't mean to wake you. Sorry."

I let out a playful huff of irritated air as I begin to pull myself into a shaky sitting position. My small happiness is lost, though, as my legs refuse to move with me. Sheesh, they feel so heavy. It's like someone tied weights to the bottom of my feet or something.

"Here, lemme help you." Flicking on the bedroom lights, he sets something down onto my dresser and begins towards me. Before I recognize it, genuine irritation abruptly rips through me like a flash of lightning.

"No, I got it," I hastily mutter with a hint of a warning attached to it. I can practically feel his smirk of disapproval boring into me as I pull my body up the last few inches with much struggle involved. However, I seem to manage and heave out a contented sigh as I settle further into the mattress. Ah, that's better. See, I don't need him babying me! I can still do stuff on my own. My legs aren't cut off; they are just… erm… _sleeping_ for a while. We all need breaks, don't we?

I nearly choke on my barely-suppressed bitter laughter. I _wish _they were just sleeping. Although I don't have all the scientific, smart-people terms that Don has, I know that it's a bunch more complicated than my legs just taking a simple nap. I guess I can think of it that way to keep my mind at rest.

"What's the time?" I question as I shift on the bed for a second time. I grimace as the new position isn't any better than the last. I guess your mattress can only take so much before it becomes permanently lumpy and tight. Completely oblivious to my uncomfortable situation, Raph fumbles around for his T-Phone before responding.

"'Bout twelve."

"Twelve?!" I repeat incredulously. Why the shell am I sleeping in so late these past few days? If we were in any other circumstance, Splinter would chew my head off and spit it back out (that is, _after _Leo did the same. I swear they are, like, the same exact person at times.)

Raph chuckles a bit, and for some unknown reason, it makes me frown. "Yeah, you've been knocked out cold. You didn't even eat breakfast. You feelin' okay?"

I follow his line of sight to the untouched meal of pancakes that lies on the floor next to my bed. Great. They're all cold and mushy now. Pancakes are one of my favorites…

"Yeah, I'm fine," I manage to fib past my inward cries of despair from the wasted food. Food should never go uneaten. Do you know how many poor, starving sewer rats would kill for those pancakes? Or maybe even that creepy homeless guy that uses the newspaper as blankets? I swear, I think he's gone off the deep end.

As if he can see right through my lie, Raph backs up a few feet and reaches for the object he had placed down. My utter delight at the sight of the Triangle of Heaven on the small plate escapes through the wide smile stretching across my face. Sure, pancakes are good, but it'll never compare to –

"Don said that maybe pizza will make ya feel better," Raph explains as he sets the warm plate down onto my lap. I think I'm actually _shaking _from joy. Who cares! As long as I have pizza, everything is going to be okay.

And it's even pepperoni – my favorite!

"Mmm…" I murmur happily before swallowing the heavenly pizza. Shooting a wide grin to Raph, I add, "What'dya have to threaten in order to get Leo to agree to pepperoni?"

Leo always likes plain ol' cheese. It's completely boring and tasteless. The rest of us always have to add our own homemade toppings after we order the pizza because Leo always insists that it's "easier to put the pepperoni on than to peel it off." If you ask me, I think he's just too lazy to do it himself.

Raph lets out a huff of amused air and flashes a small smile. "Actually, this time I didn't have to pin him to the floor. He, gasp, didn't even whine to Splinter!"

I laugh through the thick slice of pizza that's occupying my mouth. "Are you sure that's our Leo?" I tease as I swallow in delight. "Did D check for a Leo-Clone or something?"

"Nah," he denies with a faint smile, sitting lazily on the edge of my bed as he watches me eat. "He really seemed okay with it this time. I think he's just all up-tight and guilty about what happened earlier."

My chewing slows considerably at the mention of the confusing situation which has been incessantly eating my (limited amount of) common sense away. I still don't understand what happened. I try to ignore it, to brush it off as a stupid misunderstanding, but it comes back every time to haunt me. It's just –

No, don't think about it. Just enjoy this scrumptious little piece of triangular blessing that you're holding in your hands… mm, pizza…

"So, Mike…"

And there goes my moment of rare peace. Reluctantly lowering the pizza from my eager mouth, I force my eyes to look in Raph's. I instantly wish I didn't. He looks so… lost? Is that the term I'm looking for? Maybe a more suitable word is 'concerned'. I have a hard time picking out and defining his emotions most of the time; he usually bottles them all away and instead uses his fists to show what he's feeling. Trust me; I'm usually his targeted punching bag.

"The guys wanted me to ask you, uh, if you, you know, remember anything?"

Remember anything?

"You mean, what happened?" I ask, raising a dubious eye ridge. He solemnly nods and shifts uncomfortably on the bed. What's his deal?

Slightly nodding for a second time, he adds, "Yeah. Like, do you remember who was there and what happened?"

At this, I don't even feel the comforting weight of the pizza in my hand anymore. The truth is, I… I don't remember a single detail. If I had to guess, we were most likely on a patrol since we hardly ever go up to the surface without keeping an eye out for all the bad guys. Unless, of course, I was torn to shreds in my own home. That would be weird.

"No," I finally say after a few moments of thought. Then something strikes me. "D-Do you?"

I can tell by the way he's avoiding eye contact that he does. I can tell by the way he drums his fingertips against the side of the bed that he does. I can tell by the way he suddenly stands, stretching out his limbs as if eager to leave the room but not wanting to make it suspicious that he does. Well, he certainly did a crappy job of hiding all those obvious signs.

"I, uh, will be right back, okay?" he mutters, and I frown at him but manage to keep my mouth shut. Something isn't right, and even worse, something else is telling me now is not the best time or place to accuse him of whatever is going on. Sparing a second glance down at me, he continues, "Try to get some rest; I'll see you when you wake up."

Something odd strikes me straight in the chest at that final sentence, and I bite the inside of my cheek as he disappears through the doorway, gently shutting the door behind him.

I'm not so sure I want to fall asleep. Weird things happen when I do and… and it's starting to creep me out. It's almost like…

"Stop being stupid," I mumble to myself as I begin to slide back down in my bed. Nothing's wrong except for the fact that I'm being some paranoid, twitchy little three-year-old. Maybe I'm spending too much time around Leo; I'm overthinking things _way_ too much.

But maybe thinking isn't such a bad thing.

Because if I were paying attention, I would have noticed that the heart monitor wasn't there. Not one trace of it in the room at all. The plate of half-eaten pizza that was previously sitting in my lap disappeared into thin air as well. But did I notice? No. Instead, I fell asleep.

And Raph never came back.

* * *

><p><strong>AN**

**Plot twist...?**


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